it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
i may or may not be watching the land before time
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
