why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
