Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
