it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
