He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
