Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
