Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
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