you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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