So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Randomize