I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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