I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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