I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Randomize
