Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
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