in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Randomize
