i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize