I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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