The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Randomize
