he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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