Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
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