Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
