i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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