are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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