I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
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