you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
love makes seman taste better
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
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