Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Randomize
