I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Randomize
