East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
