As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
Screwed.edu
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
the room spins SO much faster in panama
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
