Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
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