If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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