Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Randomize
