If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
