Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize