I can't watch pbs sober anymore
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
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