We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
