Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Drunk is a universal language darling
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
