I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
