Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
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