my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
cat food counts as protein by the way
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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