I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Randomize
