If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
