the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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