i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
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