who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize
