i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
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