Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
