my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
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