Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
