sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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