walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
