I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
