His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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