i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Randomize
