we have officially lost it.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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