he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
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